Name: The Christmas Blues
Duration: P00H04M39S
Description: Another Christmas ZILF special, continuing the seminal story of our holiday season: Boozy Santa laments the loss of Mrs Claus and the elf revolution that threatens the very existence of Christmas.

The Christmas Blues

by ZILF

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Another Christmas ZILF special, continuing the seminal story of our holiday season: Boozy Santa laments the loss of Mrs Claus and the elf revolution that threatens the very existence of Christmas.

lyrics

How many years now has supply been short of demand?
Now the budget’s cut again with no additional staff.

I cut some corners and trimmed some fat. An £8bn loss; how do I explain that?
The stats don't lie, but children will cry, if they don't wake up with the latest toys.

How many elf unions must I bust to keep our Christmas presents free?
Now the festive bubble is about to pop on the top of the Christmas tree.

I'm missing you like an iPad missing screws because I'm falling into pieces, it's true
Though the fires burning bright, there's a chill left by my side now that you're gone I'm just feeling so blue!

How many elf unions must I bust to keep our Christmas presents free?
Now the festive bubble is about to pop and everyone will see.

I’ve given almost everything to you spoilt brats and your snotty-arsed friends
You gave me a drinking problem and shit mince pies
But they won't bring back my cold dead wife!

I'm missing you like an iPad missing screws because I'm falling into pieces, it's true
Though the fires burning bright, there's a chill left by my side now that you're gone I'm just feeling so blue!

And I know that I’m wrong to turn away from my job
If my elves could walk a mile in my shoes
I never ask for much back, so please cut me some slack
I know from up there you’d disapprove.

What’s the point, I give up, my reindeers took their cut
I’m hopeless, livid, addicted; the elves have stolen my Christmas
Weed smoking booze drinking cheap pills.

Take anything when there’s nothing to (lose)
Loose women cheap candy cruise it’s
Not fulfilling
Constantly consuming whatever makes me feel… numb.